April 7th

April 7th is always a day filled with so many mixed emotions. It is a joyous day to celebrate Zoe and all that she means to us. We are so thankful she was born 4 years ago on April 7th. It is also a day filled with sadness. We are sad for Zoe’s birth mom because we know this day is filled with loss and grief for her. We are also filled with our own grief remembering my dad’s last breath on April 7th, 6 years ago. It is a day to celebrate new life and death. We are so thankful God chose us to be Zoe’s parents and chose to provide some redemption for such a hard day in our lives. We all miss my dad so much and wish he was still here with us to celebrate this precious girl with us. But like I always say, even though he never met Zoe, we know they share such a special bond in this day.

This year, we spent the day in my dad’s favorite place. We drove all through Cades Cove, walked to the cabins, enjoyed a picnic, saw a bear and admired the gorgeous mountains. We took the girls’ Grampie bears with us and made sure to get some pictures with them. This place was definitely his happy place so it felt so right to be there celebrating his and Zoe’s lives. It was definitely hard to go to all those favorite spots without him but it was also fun to show the girls all the things he loved so much.

Zoe, I know I say this every year but your Grampie loved you so much. He never met you and for that we are so sad. We grieve what could have been in your relationship. He would have loved playing with you, laughing with and at you (since you love to make people laugh), trying to sneak you candy, and exploring the mountains with you. He was an amazing Grampie and I hate that you never got to meet him. But, I know you love him. You talk about missing him and that makes my heart happy and sad at the same time. I love that you recognize him in pictures and you know how special he is in our lives. We all look forward to seeing him again one day in Heaven and never having to say goodbye again!